we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
