sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
