GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
