so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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