I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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