my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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