dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
