So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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