Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
