I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Please don't give away my fajitas
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
