It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
