his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
