Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
