It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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