I cut my penus on the lid.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Drunk is not a location!
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