Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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