pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
