Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
