I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
