Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
