Will you blow on my dice?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize