well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is