chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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