my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
