I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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