After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
