She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
