I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
