I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
