you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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