my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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