I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
