Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
