For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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