I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Someone shattered a urinal.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
