kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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