The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
