R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
