u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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