you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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