I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize