What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said her name was "party"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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