there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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