He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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