This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
