Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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