Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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