I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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