True but thats because hes a fetus.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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