so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
