You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
