dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm bleeding and have questions
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
