my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Less talking, more tequila
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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