just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
