everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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