I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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