dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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