where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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