chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
