What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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