I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
