and i looked up. we had an audience...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
