He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
whose parrot is this?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
