Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
