the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do herpes really smell.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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